


It's not spying, it's evaluating

by lalazora



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Chan is a dumbass, Fluff, M/M, and Woojin is the only sane character in this, but so is Minho, it's T because they curse a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-07-14 12:44:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16040732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalazora/pseuds/lalazora
Summary: The thing is, Chan knew he was overprotective.And okay, maybe stalking Felix to his first date, wasn't such a good idea. Maybe hiding in some bushes like the protagonist of a bad spy movie wasn't the most intelligent thing he did.But first, Chan never claimed to be smart.And second, if he wasn't the only one having this idea, was it really that stupid?





	It's not spying, it's evaluating

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> I wrote this, based on a prompt I also wrote (because we are self-sufficient here), here it is:  
> Banginho (featuring Changlix): Where Chan is overprotective and decide to stalk Felix to his first date with the "coffee shop guy" and meet another stalker who followed (not stalk he has more dignity than that) Changbin because he is also overprotective.
> 
> So yeah. I kind of write prompts, especially banginho ones ahahaha. If anyone is interested, here is the link: https://twitter.com/lalazorachi/status/1037389237635739648  
> You can write any of this if you want if you tell me first and give credits :). 
> 
> It was self-promo time, now back to the OS and please enjoy!

It’s not like Chan doesn’t trust Felix concerning his tastes in men. It’s just that he doesn’t trust people around his baby in general, period.

So, when Felix went to him, shy, asking for pieces of advice for his first date with “coffee shop guy” -he still refused to learn his name, acknowledging it meant the guy was real and he was still in denial- all hell breaks loose. Well, in his head at least, no way was he letting Felix see that.

It’s just, Felix was his baby. The guy he knew since he was basically born, he saw him grow up and turn into the beautiful man he was now, eighteen years later after the blessing that was his birth. He saw everything, from his first baby tooth removal, to his first ear piercing, and everything in between, the sad moments as well as the happy ones.

And Chan was, to say the least, _protective_. Felix always had a soft heart, easy to hurt, especially by the people around him, who could, even without noticing, take advantage of him. And Chan was having none of that, being overprotective as soon as he could see the smallest signs of what could be abuse.

And sure, he knew he could be too much, he knew from time to time it was suffocating for Felix, and even if he never complained about it, he could see it in his eyes, sometimes. But to be fair, if you didn’t give the “I’m An A+ Asshole” vibes, he didn’t have any problem with it.

Now, dates, dates were different. Dates involved two parties _romantically_ attracted to each other. And what hurts more than love? Well, a bunch of things, like falling grades, at least to him, but to someone with a kind heart like Felix? His pure little angel? The apple of his eye? His ray of sunshine in the darkest and scariest nights? It meant everything. And whoever “coffee shop guy” was, he didn’t trust him. Not at all.

But the only thing he answered Felix when he came to him was a “sure”, a kind smile and a helping hand to choose the best outfit for his date. And Felix’s smile was enough to keep his worried mind busy, at least until they could find a shirt to match his pants.

And yes, maybe he shouldn’t interfere so much for once, maybe Woojin was right and he should let Felix be hurt occasionally if he must be. It’s how you’re supposed to grow up. And Woojin had the voice of wisdom, he knew he was right, he should let him.

Ah.

You thought.

Wisdom is for the ones who can preach what they say, the rest of us will just be dumb idiots.

So, Chan decided to be a dumb idiot.

“You don’t decide that you are born one, Channie, it’s different.”

Shut up Woojin.

 

The thing is, he didn’t think to stalk Felix to his date, until he saw him go from his house, after a good talk with Chan on how nervous he was because the guy -he still refused to learn his name- was apparently so “cool” and “awesome” and he was afraid he wouldn’t like him. Chan called bullshit on that because everyone who spent more than two minutes in the same room as Felix always finished by loving and adoring him. The guy probably wasn’t different.

 But as always, him being Felix’s best friend, mentor and wisest friend, he could literally hear Woojin cough in his head on that, he gave his best date tips, which honestly were mediocre considering he hasn’t gone on one, since like, 2 years ago, but Chan was a good con artist, so it was all good. And after a small pep talk, Felix, his baby, his pure little thing, went on his date.

And Chan felt great, really. Felix was going on a date, with someone he liked, someone Chan didn’t know and could be a serial killer for all they both knew, or even worse, and he could totally kidnap Felix and- oh my god Felix was going to die.

Two minutes after Chan started panicking _and screw you Woojin stop bothering me while you aren’t even here_ , he ran after Felix.

And okay, for the record, he already acknowledged he was too much. But can you blame him? With such a dangerous world outside? Everything could happen, really. And-

“Oh my god,” Woojin said on the phone. “Don’t tell me you are following him, and it’s a joke, please.”

“Huuuuh…. It’s a joke?” He said hesitantly. And judging by Woojin soft sigh, he wasn’t very convincing. “Chan. Get back home. Please. Trust Felix for once in your life.”

“I trust him!” He protested, “It’s the rest of the world I don’t trust.”

“Chan.” He said more sternly, “Go back. Or I’m gonna call Felix and tell him everything.” And well, Chan might have panicked a bit.

“Please don’t! Listen you’re gonna ruin his day if you do that.” Woojin sighed. “And if he saw you? Don’t you see it’s even worse? Don’t embarrass him in front of the guy he likes Chan, I’m warning you.”

And this is why Woojin aka the voice of wisdom would never be on the same level as the rest of the world, us, poor humans with dumb emotions. He was also right, and it was frustrating.

“Listen, Woojin, let me have this. I need to know it would be okay. I promise I would do my best so Felix doesn’t see me. If the guy is okay, I’ll leave them alone and you can put a fucking radar on my body to control every move I’ll do later, if it turns out okay, I’ll leave them alone. But please. I…I’m just worried.” Woojin sighed, for what felt the hundred time since he knew Chan.

“…Okay, I’ll not say anything. But if I learn this date was ruined because of you, you better move out of the country Chan.” Chan gulped. “Yes, Woojin.”

“And Chan.”

“Yes?”

“Don’t be Felix’s source of unhappiness.”

“…Yes.”

“Good. See you later.” And he simply hung up.

Chan sighed. Talking about those matters with Woojin always made him feel guilty, but he never really crossed any line, really. He was just….overprotective,  there wasn’t any other word for it. But Woojin was right, Felix was getting older and he didn’t need so much protection anymore. It just made him sad.

But still.

Felix was his baby. And he was a good parent. A damn good one, if you ask him. And no babies of Chan will be hurt under his jurisdiction. No ones.

_For fuck sake Chan, Felix is eighteen, not eight._

And once again, voice of wisdom that strangely sounds like Woojin, shut up.

 

And that’s basically how he ended up like this, stalking Felix. He wanted to pretend he was good at it, but judging by all the weird stares he got, he truly wasn’t. Luckily for him, Felix was oblivious, probably being nervous about his date - _his date_ \- with “coffee shop guy”. Which was a blessing in some way because Chan wasn’t the most discreet person on earth, and a curse because if it wasn’t for this date -once again _A DATE-_ he wouldn’t be here in the first place.

When Felix arrived at the…Starbucks? Seriously, a Starbucks? Who set up their first date in a Starbucks. It screamed poorness. Oh my god was Felix’s date one of those guys? Who gives you sweet lies about being a starving artist and only use you for your money? No artists should go near his baby!

_You write music, Chan._

…This voice was starting to get really on his nerves.

 

 

Chan waited for Felix to enter the shop and watch him sit down at a table through the window. He frowned for a minute, wondering how he could spy on him while not being seen.

And then he saw them.

The saviors of every bad spy movies he liked to watch on his own when nobody could judge him.

Bushes. In front of the glass wall. A perfect hiding place, was it actually his lucky day?

Without thinking, when did he think anyways, he rushed to them, sliding into the bushes like some kind of skateboarder on a ramp, except he was no skateboarder, he had no skateboard, no ramp, and sliding on his knees hurt like hell. Also, fuck spy movies, bushes hurt. They never talked about that. That was misleading advertising.

“Ouch! The fuck be careful!”

Also, the bushes seemed to talk now. Weird. He didn’t remember studying that in biology. Was it a secret kept by the government? Or did the bushes always were alive, and nobody noticed until now? Did Chan just prevent the invasion of the bushes on humans? Was he going to be a hero? Everything and even more in the next episode of-

“…Hello? Can you at least say sorry?”

Chan finally snapped out of his reverie after those words, to look at what was actually a human, he left a soft disappointed sigh, looking as uncomfortable as him, in the bushes. And oh wait.

Wait.

This wasn’t a human.

It was an angel, a pretty angel from heaven, looking gracious even with branches in his air and a frown on his face. Thin lips and perfect nose, deer eyes and sharp jaw-line, the perfect description of an angel. Was this bush the gates to heaven?

“What the fuck. Are you deaf?”

…Okay so an angel with a potty mouth. But still.

“Oh, oh! I’m very sorry. I…Didn’t expect someone being here, you know” Chan explained, “I mean except if it’s a thing you do, regularly, I’ll not judge you I promise.” The angel scoffed. “No, I’m not a weirdo, thank you. Now can you please get out? I’m busy.”

Chan frowned. He wasn’t sure how you could be busy in bushes, in front of a Starbucks next to a trash a can. That wasn’t the most glorious place to be busy at whatever he was. But Chan wasn’t here to critic him, considering he was also busy. In some bushes.

“Huuuuuh. I’m busy as well? Sorry, I cannot move for now.” Great now they were two busy guys in some bushes.

The angel rolled his eyes and looked back at him, “Please I just saw you jump into this place like your life depended on it, whoever you’re avoiding, stop doing that and confront your problems like a man.”

Chan was dumbfounded, who the fuck does this…Person thought he was?

“I’m not!” He said, affronted, “Please, I just need to be sure someone I know in this Starbucks is doing great. I’ll not bother you, it’s just a matter of minutes. And then I’ll leave you to do…Whatever is important to you in those bushes.”

He expected a sigh or something like that, instead, he got a frown, while he looked back at the Starbucks.

“…Who are you watching.”

“Huh?”

“You heard me.”

“Huh, the blond guy, next to-“ Chan interrupted himself for a second. It was starting.

“Coffee shop guy” was here. He hissed. Literally. And angel looked back him with wide eyes.

“Wait. Are you friend with “sunshine client”?”

“Who the hell is sunshine client?” Chan wasn’t looking at him at this point, but at the _couple_. Felix, his precious baby was blushing now and doing the giggle thing he does when he’s embarrassed or shy. The other one didn’t seem better at this point, judging by how nervously he was scratching his neck. Chan squinted his eyes, he wouldn’t be fooled like that for now. It wasn’t because he was stressed that he wasn’t evil and ready to kill Felix.

“The blond guy you just show me. In front of Changbin.” Angel guy clarified, “ _his date”_. And these two words were said with so much venom that Chan couldn’t help himself but teared up his eyes from this scene and looked back at the other one in surprise.

“Wait.” He said, “Are you “coffee shop guy” friend?” The pretty boy bits his lips and answered “His name is Changbin, you asshole. Now? you didn’t answer me first. Are you friend with the little vermin that is trying to date my friend?” Chan gasped. How dare he. Fuck him being an angel, he was straight up a demon coming from hell. How could he insult Felix like that?

“His name is Felix you jerk.” He whispered dangerously, “Don’t you ever say that again in my face, ever. Felix is the sweetest boy alive, your friend is lucky to have scored a date with him.” And far from being impressed, the other one snorted. “Please this…Felix”, he spilled as if it was hard for him to pronounce his name, “probably doesn’t deserve my Changbinnie affection. He’s probably trying to get something out of him. Like all of them do.” And it felt like being spit on.

Chan stayed silent for a while, just glaring at the stranger with all the hate he could muster. And apparently, the stranger happily gave his glare back.

They stayed like that, glaring at each other for a few minutes until Chan gave up because he never was good at staring contest and his eyes were starting to sting, and it wasn’t a pleasant feeling. The other one smirked. Fuck you.

Angry, Chan snapped back to watch his friend. Enjoying his date. Tch. If only Changbin, _Changbin_ , could be a jerk himself and broke his little baby heart he could be the one smirking down on the ~~hot~~ stranger and being able to say, “told you so.” But no. He was enjoying it. He could see it and his smile showing all his teeth and the way he was dreamily looking back at Changbin. His only comfort in this was that his date looked as happy as him. At least the Demon next to him will not have the satisfaction of winning the contest of “who has the best friend.”. At least.

Chan sighed. Apparently, he worried for nothing. Again. Felix was happy, Changbin didn’t look to be a serial killer and they both were clearly in love. He had no reason to be here, next to jerk, hiding inside some bushes like the pathetic guy he was. Maybe he should go. And that was he was going to do when the stranger grabbed his hand and pulled him back in the bush. Wow, the pretty boy looked weaker than he was.

“And what do you think you’re doing?” He said disapprovingly, “Huh, leaving? I mean, you’re an asshole but your friend seems okay and Felix looks happy so I’ve no reasons to stay here, with you?” He answered dumbly.

“Are you stupid? If you go right now, they’ll see us!” He shot back, totally ignoring the asshole comment, “Do you want your Felix to see you stalk him to his date? Because I, personally, don’t want to be seen.”

And well, maybe asshole had a point. He sighed again. Great, he put himself in a stupid situation, because he is a dumbass who cannot think and cannot listen to Woojin when he needs to. Great. Perfectly fine.

“…You’re right.” He said, resigned. The guy rolled his eyes once again, “Of course I’m right. Now put your ass back on the floor before someone sees us.”

Chan huffed, not liking how the guy talked to him, but still did as he said because, you know, he was right. And Chan should start listening to the people he knew were right. Really.

And since there was nothing else to do, he looked back at the two people on a date, looking way more comfortable than him right now, enjoying fancy drinks and just being normal people. Chan pout. He wanted to drink something as well. He was thirsty and hungry.

At one point, Changbin grabbed Felix hand under the table and they both shyly looked at each other, and okay this was so freaking cute. They were-

“They are so cute, why.” He couldn’t agree more. “Right? I…I didn’t expect this.” He said back, softly.

It was silent for a few minutes after, the both of them still looking at the couple soundlessly. And then, Chan heard a sigh.

“Listen, I’m sorry for what I said about your friend, and for being rude in general. I…Okay. I’m a bit overprotective you know? Changbin tried to date many people who were just here for his money and things like that. I don’t trust people around him easily.”

Chan looked back at him, surprised. He didn’t expect that. But it wasn’t unwelcome.

See, Chan hated being mean or rude, and well his attitude around the guy had just been that until now. He wasn’t very proud of it. But people talking badly about Felix tend to wake his inner jerk up. But still, it was no excuse.

“Apology accepted. And I’m sorry for telling you that you were an asshole and not trusting your friend as well. Felix can be naïve and just, I worry constantly about him. I’m afraid people will use his kindness and throw him away after. I guess we aren’t that different.” The guy threw him a soft smile, and okay he was back being an angel, “I guess we are not.”

Chan smiled in return, “So, truce?” and extended his hand towards him. The guy hesitated for a second but still grabbed it at the end. “Truce. I’m Lee Minho”. Chan smiled even more.

“Bang Chan.” Minho hummed in acknowledgment, “So tell me, Bang Chan, since we are now stuck here for still… around 30minutes. Tell me more about yourself.” Minho adjusted his position into the bush to just look at Chan, still smiling. And Chan wasn’t sure what to do with all this sudden attention, but once again it wasn’t unwelcome.

“Ah, I write music. Still not for a living since I’m not that well known, and agencies aren’t really interested in me for now, but that’s what I do, mainly. Except that I work as a waiter.” Chan scratched his cheek, embarrassed. He wasn’t used to talking that much about what he did, it wasn’t a taboo, but since it wasn’t working out, for now, he was still shy about it. “You?”

Minho looked at him surprised as if he didn’t expect the question. “Oh. I’m still studying as a Dance Major right now. I’ll finish this year though. I choreograph stuff here and there but not much for now. It’s hard to get a place in this field, you know?” Chan could only nod slowly, yeah, he understood perfectly.

They kept talking like this for a bit, exchanging banalities to make the time goes faster. Chan learned that Changbin wanted to be a tattoo artist later in his life and that they knew each other since they were in middle school. The age gap between them was smaller than the one between him and Felix, but Minho just couldn’t help himself around him.

“It’s just, he looks emo and mean most of the time, and people misunderstand him a lot. But he has a soft heart and he cries a lot. He also cannot sleep without his plushy. How cute is that?” And truly, just by those words, Chan’s overprotective heart wanted to protect this fragile soul from all the evils of the world. Or maybe it was just because how Minho described him, with so much love in his voice, and Chan wondered if he looked like that when he described Felix. Judging by how Minho looked at him, with soft eyes and caring smile, he supposed he did.

Time flies fast when you talk about people and things that you loved, and before they knew it, 30minutes had passed. When Chan looked bad at the table where Felix and Changbin used to be, they were gone.

“Oh finally! I was starting to get cramps here. Also, I’m definitively getting some scratches from those branches.” Minho said when he noticed them being gone as well. And started to get up. And Chan did the same, slowly, strangely not wanting to get out of the bushes.

When they finally stand up, not caring about the weird looks they were getting, Minho smiled fully at him, telling him it wasn’t much of a bad experience after all, and that he didn’t regret meeting him after all. Chan smiled back, all his dimples out, happy. Meeting Minho had been the highlight of his week.

“So, I guess I’ll see you around? I’m sure they’ll introduce us to each other officially at one point or another.” Minho winked at him, and Chan blushed. He was weak.

“Oh, hum, actually I was thinking, wanna grab a drink with me? I’m thirsty and having company doesn’t seem that bad right now.” He answered, nervously.

_Please say yes, please say yes, please say ye-_

“Are you asking me on a date, Bang Chan?” He said mischievously a smirk on his face and then laughed.

Did Chan just embarrass himself? He probably did. What’s new.

“Ah, yes? If you want this to be one. I don’t mind keeping this…Friendly.” He totally minded but he had at least to try to keep his dignity intact.

Minho just kept smirking at him, but it wasn’t mean-spirited, rather found.

“Well, I will mind, keeping this friendly. Come on nerd, let’s go on this date.” Chan groaned. He already regretted mentioning his love for One Piece.

Annnnnd wait.

“Did you just accept?” Minho looked at him, unimpressed. “Yes? Weren’t we flirting like, 5 minutes ago?” Oh.

So that’s why Minho touched his knee at one point, he also thought it was weird. And probably why he kept pulling small branches out of his hair, and that Chan did the same to him because it was the polite thing to do. That was flirting. Right. Totally cool.

“Ahahah, yeah. Of course. Flirting. We flirted so well. Best flirt of the year.” He let out nervously, and Minho looked even more astonished as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“…Right. So, on this date? Do you mind if I choose the place? I know a good bar, the bartender is a friend of mine, we can get some drinks for free.”

And who was Chan to say no to free drinks?

 

\--- 

 

And that’s how hours later, they found themselves like this. Kind of drunk and crying.

“And he was so cute back then” Minho was sobbing in Chan’s shoulder, “He-He used to not be able to go to school alone in the morning because it was still dark, and he needed someone to be with him. My soft Binnie where did he go?” Another cry, even louder. And Chan cried with him because he could totally relate.

“Felix, my sweet boy, he used to draw me as his family when we were younger, he gave me drawing of me as his big brother with his big innocent smile an-and it hurt so much but in a good way” Chan said tearing up, playing with Minho’s hair as a way to comfort Minho and himself “They grow up so fast.” Another drunk cry.

The whole bar looked at them annoyingly and Minho’s bartender friend probably was contemplating his life, and the bad decisions he made. Like, befriending Minho.

Chan at one point took out his wallet to show a baby pic of Felix to Minho, who cried even harder after that.

“He-He is so cute. My Binnie is lucky.” And Minho looked at Chan solemnly and put out of his jean’s pocket a picture of Changbin when they were in middle school, with his munchlax plushy and Chan just melted. “No-no, my baby is lucky, your Binnie is a cutie” but Minho shook his head, “No your baby is a small bean who needs protection, Binnie is lucky” and Chan shook his even harder “No no no, my little angel is lucky to have someone as soft as your Binnie, really, I’m happy it’s him.”

They both looked at each other.

And hugged each other while crying even harder.

“You’re a good parent you know that? Felix grew up so well.” And the instant reply “Same to you, you did such a good job, they are going to be perfect for each other.”

Chan pulled back after a while and looked at Minho’s face. Tears were running down his face, his cheeks were wet and maybe it wasn’t the prettiest sight on the earth, but right now, he wouldn’t want to kiss anyone else.

“Can I kiss you?” He finally said after looking at his face for a minute or two, maybe a little too loud, considering the groans he could hear from the people around.

Minho just smiled, “I thought you’ll never ask.”

And that’s what they did. They kissed.

It wasn’t a perfect one, and it wasn’t very romantic either. They were both drunk and in public. But still, Chan felt so good while doing so. Minho’s lips were soft and even if he smelled like alcohol, he had just this perfect taste he could just associate with Minho.

And for him, it was perfect.

 

Perfect moment ruined by his phone ringing. And Minho giggling against his lips, finally separating himself from Chan, smiling lovingly at Chan.

“Answer, it can be important.” He wasn’t sure what would be more important right now than kissing Minho again, but since he asked nicely, Chan decided to answer the phone call.

“Chan? Where are you? It’s 10 pm, you’re supposed to be home hours ago! You weren’t there when I ringed, and-

“Woojin.”

“What?!” He sounded a bit irritated, but Chan put that on him being worried, which was nice.

“You were right and I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have followed Felix. Binnie is super cute, the cutest”

“…Binnie? Chan where the fuc-“

“Annnnnnd” he interrupted him, “He has SUCH nice friends. A nice friend at least. Really the nicest.” It was silent for a moment.

“…Are you drunk?” Chan scoffed, “I’m _buzzed_ , not drunk Woojin there’s a difference. And I’m drinking with the love of my life, so you know all worth it.”

“The love- what the fuck Chan.” He hummed, “The love of my life, the person who understand me the most, you know these kinds of things.” He put his finger up to make a statement, but then realized Woojin couldn’t see him, so he put it down, disappointed. “And I was kissing him until you interrupted me. Which is fine, sorry for worrying you, Woojin, just know that you’re always right, and I love you. Platonically of course.”

Chan wasn’t sure if Woojin died or was just too astonished by what Chan just said, but he didn’t answer for a while.

“I- huh. Okay. Call me if you need help getting home. Stay safe.” And he hung up. Chan smiled happily. And looked back at Minho who had his trademark smirk on his face once again.

“The love of your life, huh?” Ah yes, he did call him that, did he. Well, he didn’t care anymore. Maybe he was really drunk. “Yup! The love of my life. We’re gonna be so good together, such good parents we are.” And he smiled even more.

Minho looked back, blushing a bit, not for too long though.

“Well, future husband, what about kissing me again before pronouncing our vows?”

 

And Chan couldn’t say no to that.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it!
> 
> Please leave kudos and comments it's always appreciated o/!!


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